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    my vampire story

    Denno
    Denno


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    my vampire story Empty my vampire story

    Post by Denno Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:53 am

    okay i am working on my own little story of a boy that becomes a vampire, and i am only in the begining, but if people like the start ill keep posting parts of it as i finish it
    Denno
    Denno


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    my vampire story Empty Re: my vampire story

    Post by Denno Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:56 am

    It was
    around October, I was only 13 and had little knowledge in the world beyond
    ours, my father would tell me stories of the evils that lurked in the dark
    every night, I just fought it was regular ghost stories so we would be silent
    at night, however I discovered he was telling the truth the Hard way


    October
    the 14 it was yet another Friday, and my dad would be off on one of his many
    travels, he never told me or my brothers where he was going, except for this
    time he was taking my brother Elric that just turned 17 along, it was
    understandable as he was the oldest of us all, so he would probably take after
    whatever it was our father was doing.


    Once
    they had left my mother was in control of the house and she was a really bossy
    women, but it was understandable, cause when my father was out she was always
    so nervous, and wanted everything to be perfect, though it wasn’t because we
    didn’t live well enough, I am sure many others would envy our position, we had
    more than enough money to support the whole family, I guess you can say we are
    part of the upper class, and our mom keep saying we could thank our father for
    that, but whenever we asked what father was she would never tell us, saying we
    weren’t old enough to understand it, but we knew dad had some kind of secret
    room out in the barn, however it was always locked with all kinds of locks, and
    there wasn’t a single window or extra door, it was like a fortress, but me and
    my brothers where determined to find out what was inside there, though later I
    would find out it had been better never finding out, but curiosity is something
    every kid have, and now that our dad had left, and our mom was busy in the
    kitchen, it was our chance to once again try to invade this fortress, in the start
    it was out of curiosity we tried to get inside, but as of late it had become
    more a game to see who was the best and could get inside, after we had been
    jumping around the barn for some time looking for keys clues and anything that
    could help, I could hear my mother’s voice from outside, everyone hurried to
    hide, except me, cause it was my name that was shouted out, she wanted me to go buy vegetables at the
    local market, it was always such a pain to go there, it was a long walk, but
    someone had to do it when my father wasn’t home, and now that my older brother
    was with my dad, I had to go.


    The road
    was nice and solid today, it had rained yesterday, so I had assumed there would
    be a long muddy road ahead of me, but lucky for me it was a solid dusty road,
    and luck seemed to favor me that day, cause on the way to the market I was
    picked up by Thompson from the farm next to ours, so I would have some extra
    time in town before I had to go home again, it was always fun exploring the
    little towns side streets, though you would think that it was dangerous places
    to go, but not really, people didn’t really bother with theft, everyone was
    making it by just fine.


    When I
    arrived at the market, I was quick about it, cause then I would have more time
    for myself, though exploring the streets that day was probably my worst
    decision I had ever made, I moved around the first few streets without really
    seeing anything that I hadn’t seen before, however it didn’t take me very long
    before I saw that, that creature from myths. It was a women, and she was biting
    a man’s neck, but it was in the middle of the day, those creatures shouldn’t be
    here right now, I then realized I and they were standing in the shade of two
    big buildings, I tried not to scream, and if I hadn’t screamed just then, then
    maybe I would have gotten away and lived my life like any other person, but
    what I saw made me scream, and the womens attention was at once directed at me
    instead of the man, she rushed towards me, and I ran, I ran all I could, lucky
    as I was I made it to where there was sunlight, and fell on the ground, and
    when I looked behind me to see if she was still there but she was gone, like a
    shadow disappear to light, she was no more, and I didn’t even go back to look
    at the man, I just walked home, I wanted to get home, and the sooner the
    better, I just wanted to forget what I had seen, I tried to convince myself
    that what I saw was an illusion, a mere creation of my imagination, but somehow
    I just knew it wasn’t like that.





    When I
    arrived home I was relieved, I had hurried all I could to get home before the
    shadows fell upon this forever changed world, my mom was of course worried
    about me, because I looked so pale, but I was still partly in shock from what I
    had seen, but I didn’t tell my mother, what was I supposed to say, that I had
    seen a creature of the night suck out the blood of a poor man? No she would
    never believe, she would simply say I had heard to many ghost stories, and I
    hoped that was true, but deep inside I knew the truth was what my two eyes had
    seen, but maybe if I forgot all about it, then I would never witness something
    like that again, yes that was just one of the many ways I hoped that day would
    be lost forever, but that day will forever come back to haunt me no matter how
    old I get, it could haunt me trough the rise of an empire to the fall of it,
    and still be there, and so it did.


    The next
    day I told myself that everything was as it normally was, however I kept seeing
    the shadows move, and fell a cold shiver down my spine, something was out there
    watching me, I couldn’t see or prove it, I just knew it, but it couldn’t be the
    creature from yesterday, cause they aren’t able to walk in the light of the
    sun, and they roam the night not the day, which is kind of weird to have seen
    one that time of day, there was at least 3 hours to sunset at that time, but at
    that time it seemed best not to think about it.


    Now I
    just wanted to go about my daily life as I used to be doing my chores and
    helping my brothers, that’s how I resumed my life for about two weeks, before I
    once again was asked to go into town by my mom, she had forgot to look out for
    how much we had left in the storage, and my father and older brother still
    hadn’t returned home, so I had to go to town, and to make it all worse it was
    only shortly from sunset, and I was to catch the market just before people
    packed their stuff together, maybe I should have told my mother about what I
    had seen, maybe I should have refused to go, there was so many things I should
    have done there, but I didn’t, and that was my gravest mistake, cause that day
    was when my life became a life of servitude.


    While I
    was making my way to the Market I ran all I could to make it there and home
    before the sun came down, cause there was few things more scary then the dark
    road home at night, especially after what I had seen recently, though it had
    been two weeks, I still couldn’t shake the feeling of that something watching
    me, though I have had a few days I didn’t feel like it, it usually didn’t take
    long for it to return, and I had the feeling this day.


    I was
    lucky and made it to the market just before they closed down, but when I was
    done the sun was no more, the only thing I could see of the sun was as it
    slowly went down behind the hills to the vest, and I began to panic, I tried to
    find the way I had come from, but in my panic I couldn’t find it, I knew it was
    there somewhere, I marked a road with my sight, and ran towards it, I quickly
    looked at the sign, it was the right and I continued, but before I had made it
    very long, a hand grappled me, and hold me up towards the wall “what’s is a
    little brat like you doing out here so late” it was a small gang, they were
    known as the wolves, they just liked to take the money from people, that according
    to them didn’t need it, and I was apparently their newest victim, I just wanted
    to get away, and that few money I had left from being at the market wasn’t
    worth the trouble, but before I could say anything, this man was standing
    behind the wolves, and he was like a building, he placed his hand on the
    shoulder of the one that was holding me, just by the look of the man, it didn’t
    take long for the weak wolves to let go of me, and run away, either it was the
    size or the face of the man they had seen, and personally I didn’t really care,
    I just wanted to go home.


    The man
    didn’t say much, the only words I heard him say was “I’ll show you home” of
    course the man didn’t know where I lived, but I was still shocked and panicked,
    so I didn’t think twice about it, I should just have ran first I noticed he was
    showing me the wrong way, such a fool I was, instead I just asked him why we
    were going this way, and that was when he grappled me, and threw me in and open
    door nearby, I slowly lifted my head after the hard landing on the stone floor,
    I had fallen down a few stairs it seemed, and I could now see the man stand at
    the top of the stairs at the door were he slammed it in, and I was left in the
    darkness.


    I guess
    I was down there for about two to three hours, maybe more maybe less, I kind of
    lost track of time, I was afraid of the dark, I had always been, and my mom
    blamed it on my father for all the ghost stories he told, however it had not
    been as bad as today before, ever since the encounter with the creature from my
    father’s stories I had been extremely afraid of the dark, shortly after the man
    had slammed the door, I fumbled a bit around in the dark waiting for my eyes to
    adjust to the dark, however there wasent even the smallest ray of light from
    anywhere, it was only when the light of the moon began shinning on the door I
    was able to see anything, the first thing I did was to look for a way out, I
    had ended up in a basement, so there was the way outside to the street, or the
    door to inside the house, I first tried the door to the outside, but it was
    locked, no surprise really, I never expected it to be open anyways, so I made
    my way down the basement again, I found myself a corner, and sat there waiting,
    I don’t know for what, I guess I was just waiting for some kind of miracle to
    happen, maybe an angel would open the door for me so I could go home to my mom,
    my father was a very religious man, told me how the monsters couldn’t take me
    because I was under the protection of the lord, but where was that protection
    now? Were was his angels when his creations needed them the most? I knew that
    that the only way out was trough the house, and for whatever reason I was
    thrown in the basement, the answer was up there, and I approached the door
    carefully, maybe if I was very silent, I could get outside without being
    noticed.


    I was
    standing at the door for quite a while gathering my courage to enter the
    unknown. But in the end I turned the door handle, and looked through the crack
    into a dark room, when I tried to focus on the room to see if I could see
    anything, but the room was too dark.


    I slowly
    placed my right foot inside still very unsure if I should proceed, but it was
    the only way ahead after all.


    I moved
    into the room silently without making a sound, or at least I believed I did,
    cause I couldn’t hear anything myself. I remembered what way the basement had
    turned, and quickly picked out a way I should look for a door. Each step I took
    felt like an eternity, and my heart was going crazy like it was ready to burst out
    of my chest at any time. I felt my way along the wall, and I had slowly been
    able to see the outline of the room to determine where I had ended up, and
    apparently I was in the dining room, there was a big table and lots of chairs
    around it in the middle of the room, and on the walls I was sure there was
    pictures, but of what was a mystery to me, and the less I knew about them the
    better I figured, and while following the wall I had been too distracted
    examining the room instead of looking where I was walking, so I walked into a
    small table where a vase was just about to fall off and crash on the ground,
    but I was lucky enough to catch it just before it fell down.


    I placed
    the vase back on the table, and breathed out relaxed, the noise the vase could
    have made would be big enough to wake whoever was sleeping in this house, and
    that person would most likely mistake me for a burglar and report me to the
    watch, my mom’s hearth would be broken if that happened, so I had to get out of
    her quickly and silently.


    I
    finnaly found the door in the direction I expected to be towards the street, I was both right and
    wrong about that, as I opened the door I was blinded by the light in the room
    just before something pulled me inside and shut the door behind me.


    “what a
    handsome little boy” a female voice said, I tried to regain focus so I could
    see who it was, and as my eyes got used to the light I could see who it was, it
    was the exact same woman I had seen on the streets that night, she was sitting
    in a throne like chair in the middle of the room, and I could see other people
    around the room, but all I could concentrate on was this woman, I was horrified
    by the sight of her, I could only imagine what she would do to me.


    “oh look
    he is scared” she said very softly, it was like she had no intentions on
    hurting me, like I had just walked into a meeting of adults by accident, and
    that they found it funny.


    “come on
    now don’t be scared, no one is going to hurt you” she was looking very
    friendly, and waved at me to come closer, but I was very unsure if that would
    be so smart, if I got too close wouldn’t she just pull her fangs inside me and
    take my blood from me, and turn me into a nosferatu as well.


    I didn’t
    have much choice at the current situation, so I looked a bit around the room to
    try figure out how to get out if something should happened, but I couldn’t find
    any possible escape route, the only door behind the woman was guarded by a
    large man that didn’t look like he was going to move if I ran into him.


    It seems
    the woman was getting tired of waiting for me to get closer to her, she locked
    her eyes at me, and as I got eye contact with her, she pointed at me, and said
    “walk here”, it was like my leg moved by themselves, I just walked towards her,
    no matter how much I tried I couldn’t stop myself.


    I
    stopped right in front of her, and then she was just sitting there examining me
    for a good while, before she said “your physical prowess dosent seem to be the
    best, but I am sure you can make up for that in intelligence” after she had
    finished speaking there was no doubt in my mind, she wanted me to join her dark
    people. I was terrified, and wanted to run all I could, but I was frozen to the
    ground, not even a single muscle in me was responding to my demands. It was
    like her gaze had locked me in place, and all I could do now was wait for her
    fangs to impale my neck and suck out my blood to make me part of her dark
    people, but to my surprise she didn’t bite me, but she presented a fine glass
    to me, I took it out of her hands as she handed it to me.


    I looked
    down the fine glass, there was a liquid, it was a thick red substance, it
    reminded me a little of red wine, only that this was a lot thicker, and didn’t
    swirl as smoothly. I looked back at the woman, and she pointed at the drink, and
    said “drink it” I really didn’t was to drink it as I realized it was blood in
    the glass, but my body still wouldn’t respond, It moved on its own not heeding
    even a single command I gave it, but it obeyed the woman’s every command.


    As the
    blood went down my throat it wasn’t the iron tasting substance I had expected
    it to be, but rather a very well tasting drink, it was like nothing I had ever
    tasted before in my life, not even my mothers cooking could compete with this
    at any time.


    I got
    down every last drop of the blood, and then turned my attention to the woman
    again, it was like all my fears was gone, and I was feeling fond of this lady
    now, and I asked her “do you have more of that” and she began smiling before
    she answered “easy now young Joshua, if you want more you need to earn it, the
    first time is a gift, the second time is an award” her words were like sweet
    music in my ears, no one else in the room were interesting now, all that
    mattered was her “what is it, I will do anything for you” I didn’t even think
    twice about the words, it was just her that mattered, her that was my entire
    word, whatever it was that had been in that drink, it had changed my look on
    the world.

    The lady seemed most pleased on how I was
    behaving. She stood up, and took the glass out of my hands and placed it back
    on the table where it had been before. I just stood there, looking at her move
    around, completely spell bound by her looks, or something else, but I was sure
    it was her looks that kept me there, and then her fingers went around my chin,
    and she made sure my attention was turned towards her and only her “for now I
    want you to just return home in the morning, and I will then call upon you when
    I fell the time is right, and don’t worry you wont be in doubt when I call upon
    you” her voice was so soft, and I nodded to her, I would do anything for her
    “now sleep and remember the name Natalia Nadir” she poked me on the forhead,
    and I felt all my energy slip away, and realized it was all excitement and
    adrenaline I had been going on for the last few hours, and my eyes slipped
    together before I couldn’t remember anything more

    Chapther 2






    It was a
    bit of a weird feeling, it was like a soft sheet was over me, and that I was
    lying on something that was making my body fell warmer, I slowly opened my
    eyes, and I discovered I was in my own room, or well it is also my two little
    brothers room, as everyone shared rooms around the house except mom and dad.


    It was
    unbelievable, the last I remember was standing in that room with the lady, and
    suddenly I could hear an echo in my head Natalia Nadir it said, and I figured
    that had to be her name, it was new to me, yet I fell like I had known that
    name my whole life.


    I sat up
    in my bed, and the room was just like I left it yesterday, I could see my
    brothers had as usual hidden themselves under the sheets as they do every
    morning before mom comes to wake us up, but something was different, I just
    couldn’t put my finger on it.


    Maybe if
    mom was up I could ask her how I had gotten back, or maybe all that happened
    before was just a bad dream, but just to make sure I would ask mom about it.


    I got on
    my feet, and took another look around the room, but there was nothing out of
    the ordinary, and I then headed for the door, I putted my hand on the handle, and
    opened the door slowly, I don’t know what I was expecting, but something gave
    me a bad feeling, and when I opened the door and stepped outside it was
    defiantly not what I had expected, I entered a long slim hall, and the door was
    out of nothing the door I went through slammed behind me, and when I turned
    around in chock over the noise it had made, the door was gone, and as I turned
    around again there was now doors on each side of the hall, this was nothing
    like anything I would ever expect to happened, but that didn’t matter much,
    more importantly, where am I, and what placed me here.


    I
    decided that standing there thinking wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so my
    only choice was to continue down the hall before the other doors also
    disappeared before me


    Last edited by Denno on Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:02 pm; edited 3 times in total
    Keiko Neisan
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    Post by Keiko Neisan Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:42 pm

    Nice work Denno^^ write some more, I want to know what happens!!!
    Kami-Sama
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    Post by Kami-Sama Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:45 pm

    o.0 more more!!!! i love it Very Happy i wanna see the next part!!!
    Yanjin
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    Post by Yanjin Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:48 pm

    I loves it Denno, I loves it bigtime Smile
    Denno
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    Post by Denno Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:54 pm

    awesome with all that encouragement, and please tell me if theres something its missing, like more indepth or more perspective, and i got the next part ready around tomorow
    Denno
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    Post by Denno Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:16 am

    okay i added another little section to the text
    Keiko Neisan
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    Post by Keiko Neisan Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:27 pm

    more!!more!!more!!!! MORE!!!!!!!!
    Denno
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    Post by Denno Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:14 am

    so i worked alot on the story lately, and i have now finished the first chapter of my story, though i have hit a bit of a wall, not sure what should happend from there, but with alot of thinking i have found out, so just wait til the next part
    Yanjin
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    Post by Yanjin Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:42 am

    Ahh, I'm getting impatient now Smile
    Denno
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    Post by Denno Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:07 am

    alright so i just got the report back from my teacher, and she tells me that i need to make my chapter one shorter, and thats where i would like to ask you guys where in the story you begin feeling that its getting a bit slow, and where you feel there are some things that dosent seem right

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